I served a mission in West Virginia and during my exit interview my mission president counseled me to attend a singles ward when I returned home. I didn't really appreciate that advise because I didn't want to go to the singles ward. Like at all. I didn't want to because while I was on my mission my family moved from Idaho to Sandy, Utah; so I wouldn't know anybody in the ward and I'm socially awkward and really suck at making new friends. I asked the other sister missionaries if he told them to go to the singles ward, hoping that maybe it was just universal advice. After asking around I concluded that I was the only one he gave that instruction to, therefore it must have been inspiration and so I better listen to him.
I came home in March 2012 and attended my parents ward the first few Sundays before working up the courage to go to the singles ward. Thinking back on it now, I believe that even if I had wanted to go to the singles ward I probably would have been so scared of going alone that I would have just continued to attend my parents ward. It's so much easier to just sit by your mom than to have to go and talk with strangers. Thus my mission presidents counsel gave me the courage to go. It took `me WAY out of my comfort zone. I get social anxiety like you people wouldn't believe.
Meanwhile at home my mother was worried I was going to end up single for the rest of my life. I'm a pretty shy person and typically throughout my life if I ever had a crush on a boy I would completely ignore him (for fear he might find out I liked him.) And through the years my mom would always say, "You have to flirt! You have to let the boy know you like him so he'll have the confidence to ask you out!" I never took that advise because I was too worried about looking like an idiot, plus I had major fear of rejection. So my Mom began to pray that I would be able to get married hahaha. Then early one morning she came running out to me and cheered "Courtney, I know who you're going to marry!!" She went on to tell me about a dream that she had where a boy came to the door asking for me then he and I were hanging out in the living room and he had me laughing my head off. She said he was really tall with broad shoulders and he had brown hair and a red beard. She was mostly set on the hair/beard combo. Brown hair, red beard. She asked if I knew anyone that looked like that but I couldn't really think of anyone. We even looked through all my Facebook friends, but my Mom said no to everyone I showed her. At the time I didn't think much of it, I just figured it was Heavenly Father letting her know all would be well.
When I first came home my Bishop had started a special Sunday school class for recently returned missionaries, I to that class for months but it wasn't really my favorite. I kept waiting for permission to quit going to that class but he kept encouraging me to attend. Finally one Sunday in September I was like screw it, I'm going to the normal class! So I did, and that day in class they announced that our stake was in charge of singing outside of the conference center to help counteract the protestors during general conference. They asked for volunteers and a group on the other side of the room volunteered. They still needed one more person but I wasn't about to do it. Then I started getting this nagging feeling to volunteer. I fought it. I fought hard. The awkward silence only made that nagging feeling stronger until I gave in & raised my hand. I immediately started scolding myself for doing such a thing. After class Brandon came up to me and said he was part of the group that volunteered and he asked if I wanted to drive up with them and I said that I did. I vividly remember my heart went from racing to calm when he came over to talk to me. Something about him just calmed my nerves, probably his nice big smile.
If memory serves that was the first time we had actually spoken to each other. I had seen him around but I hadn't really NOTICED him until that day. We sang at general conference a few weeks later, it was pretty uneventful I stayed quiet and just listened to the conversations around me. But after that experience I became very aware of Brandon. I suddenly started paying attention to who he hung out with and where he sat, you know stalker type stuff.
Speaking of stalker type stuff I told my mom about Brandon so we looked him up on Facebook. When she saw his picture she exclaimed "That's him!! That's the guy from my dream, he just doesn't have a beard! Does he have a beard in real life?" I had to think about it. He didn't really have a beard at the time, but he did have some scruff. I thought about what color it was and "OH MY GOSH IT'S RED!!"
"Well is he funny," she asked "because in my dream he had you laughing your head off!"
"I think so, I mean I don't know him that well; but he's always making other people laugh."
We left it at that but I was more interested in this Brandon guy than ever before. I'm pretty sure my mom on the other hand started planning my wedding that night.
Brandon used to have game nights at his house all the time and somehow I started going to them. Before I knew it I was a regular among his group of friends and over time I really started to feel like I could be myself around them and my shyness started to fade. However, I find it interesting that I was always totally comfortable with Brandon. If there were other people around I would resort to my quiet side, but whenever it was just the two of us I always felt relaxed and at ease. There are very few people throughout my life that I have been that comfortable with right off the bat. Maybe it's because he has such an easy going, friendly personality and maybe it's something deeper; all I know is that it made me like him all the more. Somewhere along the lines Brandon started to like me too but he was too nervous to ask me out. Apparently my mom was right about giving boys encouragement.
I gave that encouragement to him one night during a family home evening activity where we were having an auction. Everyone got $100 in the form of monopoly money to buy whatever their little hearts desired. Brandon was auctioning off a Chinese dinner. I had my heart set on buying a lava lamp. And I made sure he knew that's what I was getting (I would hate to buy his dinner and have him suspect that I had a crush on him.) So the auction started and things were selling for pretty cheap; people were spending $30-$50 on things. I just waited patiently for my lava lamp. Then it happened. Brandon's dinner was up for auction. They started the bidding at $10 and someone raised their hand for it right away. "Can I get $20" the auctioneer asked. And it was in that very moment that I'm pretty sure a spirit over took my body and raised my hand. "We have $20, can I get $30?" My competition raised his hand. "$30! Now $30 can I get $40?" My hand went up again!! It went back and forth between the two of us. $50. $60. I was already spending more money than anyone had spent. I felt like everyone in the room was watching me and I turned beet red. Yet my cursed hand kept going up! He bid $70. I bid $80. The boy must REALLY like Chinese food. He bid $90. And you guessed it, it bid all $100 of my monopoly monies. I felt so embarrassed, I couldn't believe I had just done that. I still can't believe I did it. My heart started racing as I wrote this because I STILL have leftover anxiety from that night.
But that was just what Brandon needed. A few days later he came up to me before institute started and said "Hey, so I was thinking that maybe for the Chinese Dinner we could go eat and then go bowling and make a date out of it." I eagerly replied that I loved that idea! We went on that date and it went so well that we decided to go on a second one the next week. The second date went so well that we started to see each other almost every single day. All those days went so well that we decided we would spend all our days for eternity together.
There were so many of those random life experiences that brought us together, starting with my parents moving just a mile down the road from him. Interestingly, they moved away from Sandy just a month after we got married; I like to think they moved there just for me to meet Brandon. Then there were all of those experiences that pushed me out of my comfort zone but looking back now I can see it was all part of a bigger picture. I've been told there's no such thing as fate or soul mates but this sure feels pretty close.
No comments:
Post a Comment